


Broken Hearts Burn

by yellowwolf56



Category: SPN, Supernatural
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-29 07:31:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6364960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellowwolf56/pseuds/yellowwolf56
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean swore he'd never care about someone like Riley had Kevin. He had seen the way she broke down after his death. Vacant eyes, emotionless conversations. He should probably stop making deals with himself. They always got broken anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken Hearts Burn

**Author's Note:**

> A three chapter fic about our favorite Winchesters. My OCs are included. 
> 
> This is Deans chapter.
> 
> Note: Not in chronological order.

Dean is standing in a field, standing opposite Castiel. The angel is giving him the long, measured look he always did, head tilted in confusion.

Dean knows if he moves to hug the trench coat clad man or even grasps for a sleeve, he'll wake up reaching for the shadows of something he could never have.

But, shadows are the only thing he knows, so he reaches out. He wakes up, hand clenched in sheets, and the trench coat around his shoulders.

Dean swore he'd never care about someone like Riley had Kevin. He had seen the way she broke down after his death. Vacant eyes, emotionless conversations. He should probably stop making deals with himself. They always got broken anyway.

Broken, he thinks bitterly. Just like him, jagged pieces of all he ever wanted. He had never understood his father after his mother's death. John's willingness to throw himself in danger, to leave his two, and eventually three, children alone. Dean understood now. 

The pain was unbearable. It was the ache in his heart where Cas used to be. 

That's what grief was he'd relized. Turning around during briefings to tell Cas his part in the plan, and finding nothing but empty space.

Sam and Riley had left him alone, a thing he was grateful for. He didn't want to be reminded of everything he had lost. Riley and Sam both understood what it was to lose everything.

He hated himself for his stupid pride, his stupid fear. He had known all along what he felt, and now there were no more chances.

Dean knew he had had the perfect chance to gain everything he wanted, cure the nicks and cracks in his heart. 

Now, it wasn't just minor damage. His heart was cleaved in two by the damn angel he had stabbed when they first met. 

He still prayed to Cas. It was better, sometimes, to pretend that Cas was ignoring him. Better Cas be angry at him than gone.

Because Cas was gone, and hey had burned his body. Dean refused to call it a vessel, because it wouldn't have been Cas without it.

"Are you happy now?!" He would scream at the walls, on the bad nights. 

Then the tears would come, and even if Riley or Sam heard them, they weren't mentioned, because that meant Dean's wrath on either sibling who dared mention his red eyes or tear-trail covered cheeks.

Even when Riley cried, Dean kept his stinging eyes in check and told himself that he was fine.

He knew he wasn't. He was a victem of a punishment crueler than any that Hell could conjure. His heart was ripped away, because of a stupid demon.

A simple job, usually. Except they hadn't been expecting more than four demons and one had gotten the jump on the ex angel. Dean always would remeber the pained cry which followed the gunshot, and the ragged breathing that needed within moments.

Not even a chance to say goodbye.

 He now understood why people went numb inside. It was because you no longer had anything left.

The only things he did have left were shadows and painful memories and broken pieces of something that used to be his heart.

So Riley and Sam left him wih his pretend games of praying and his pieces.

And he reached for shadows.


End file.
